I give up on writing regualrly in favor of only writing when I have something to say.
I've really been struggling lately with two things.
One is definitely college/future endeavors. It's so difficult. I trust God to put me where he wants me to be... but. I know that I'm not supposed to just sit around and wait for him to put my future in my lap. I want to chose the right path. But there's so many options that I'm not sure what that path is.
Also, and almost more importantly for me, I've really been thinking about my faith and my life as an active Christian. I've been reading this book called the irresistible revolution and it has pretty much changed the way I think. It suggests living totally and completely for God and giving parts of myself that I've never thought to give seriously before. It's throwing me for a loop. What about the things that I like that might not be God honoring? Like rap music? Clothes and makeup? Innapropriate jokes?
Do I just abandon those things? Quit them cold turkey in an effort to live like Jesus lived? What if that makes me unhappy? If it does can I fully live like Jesus? I don't quite know the answers actually. None of those are rhetorical. My mission right now is to figure this out.
And to express how much I really love music. It burns in my soul, but so far I've refused to let it boil over.
And to get a webcam so that I can finally talk to Erica.
And to start thinking straight.
And to get a keyboard.
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