I'll show you mine, if you show me yours first.

First of all, can I just say that I totally called thursday being a weird day? It was good weird, but weird none the less. I ended up seeing Jersey boys. Which was very good.

Now to get down to business. I am loving the song swing life away by rise against. So great.
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours first. Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse."
Things have happened to me.
But things have happened to everybody.
What should this mean to my friendships? I have what alot of people would consider major issues in my past, but I don't walk around advertising them and blaming my faults and problems on them. So how do I know if I should tell people? Is it really important? The thing is, if people dont know these things about me can they ever really know the real me? Or what makes me tick? Don't you have to know about influencial things inorder to really know someone?

"I've got some friends, some that I hardly know. But we've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world."
I have friends. I have friends that I talk to once a month and friends that I talk to almost everyday. How are best friends determined? Is it a mutual decision? Do you have to be somebody's best friend in order for them to really be yours? Traveling back to the last paragraph, do your best friends have to know everything about you? If the answers to those two questions is yes... then I have no best friends, and that is really sad to me. Can I help it that when it comes to huge things life bestfriendom I'm very shy and personal? I love the memories that I have with my friends, but so many of my realtionships have fallen away and I don't understand why. Am I bad at building and sustaining relationships? I guess the only way I'll ever know is if somebody calls me out on it. Which will hurt me. I'm not a fighter by nature.

I don't really get angry in public. I know and love alot of dramatic people. People who get upset and shut down or yell in public, I'm not really one of them though. I don't know how or why I came to this subconcious realization, but what good does it do to get upset over little things? Why would somebody get upset about something minor when there are so many larger problems in the world? I think that anger and holding grudges waste time. Time is so valueable to me. Everymoment is a huge blessing and I should hope that most people do not spend those moments angry.

I wish that people think me as a friendly person. I don't ever want to be seen as intimidating or impersonal. I was shut out for so long and it really impressed on me to never be like the people who did it to me. Woooooow. Did that make me sound like a whiny person or whizzzat?
I basically don't want to be a crazy selfish loon.
I want to be christlike to others.
I want to shine.

Well that's enough for today. I have spanish again tomorrow. I am really ready to be done with public school. FUN thing: tuesday is supposed to be like 60 degrees. I am so excited. I am ready for this season to be over I think. I've learned my lesson from winter and I need the breath of fresh air that spring brings. Plus, I'm SO excited to not have to wear longsleeves, leggings, sweatshirts, and tights under everything. You don't even know. Unless you know how much I don't like being clothed.

laaaaata homeskillet.

p.s. I'm finally going to 'put labels' in one of these. Whatever that means...