Who has 2 thumbs and has been just filled to the brim with joy for the past week? This girl!
I'm just over flowing with it, really.
It all started once I got home from vacation. Since we came home early, mom & I gave our selves the remaining 2 days of vacation to spend time together, go to a craft fair, and scrap book. It was just so relaxing and nice. Then I spent time at the Barlow's house and the love really started pouring out! We got to go down town, eat great food, and just enjoy ourselves! I've had a lot of time to think, listen to music, and get back in touch with my creativity. & lot's of time to snuggle and watch movies! I've been working to dedicate time to prayer, and I'm seeing such visible fruit coming from that as well.
I feel so full!
I've exercised my right to change my mind and am now intending to move to Austin, not Dallas. It fits me. The live music capital, biking, botanical gardens, shopping, a place to live. I'm just too excited about it all.
I didn't even mind going to work today, and I totally don't enjoy my job.
I've decided that my major in life for the next few years is to become a well rounded, Godly woman.
This semester I'm working on music & esthetics school in Texas, or downtown Chi. Next year maybe I will move to Redding and go to Bethel! I'm thinking that would be a good idea because I need some sort of mentorship and constant application for growth. I have a lot to gain from that sort of thing. The year after that I'm thinking Europe. Ireland or Spain or Italy maybe. I want to learn how to cook and sew better than I currently do, and Europe seems to do both of those things well. Definitely some time in Spain, I need to brush up on my Spanish. I'd also like to go to Nepal! I don't really know much about it, but I've heard they have beautiful mountains there. Either ways, what I am trying to get across here is that I have some very exciting possibilities for the next few years.
I've recently been very convicted about the potential of my friends. I am surrounded by some world changers and I never even noticed it! It's very clear to me that there is great potential around me and I am over the moon about watching it happen. I'm hoping that all of the passion currently operating continues for a long time!
Also, I am just in love with Matt Duke. He really is my favorite and is coming to Evanston on the 30th. I will be so sad if I can't go! I've been listening to him and many other talented people all week, on my best mix cd I've made aptly called "killer mix cd."
Life is just very exciting!
Monday, September 5, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
The future.
Well friends, life is good and God is providing many open doors for me right now. I have had quite the couple of weeks! I’m a tad fuzzy on where I left off on my journey in my last post, but I sure have a lot of updates to give. I am excited in a nervous way to share that my next step will be an Esthetics program somewhere in big and toasty Texas! Yes, I still don’t know where. Or where I’ll be living for that matter, but it would be out of my character to have everything figured out ;) I am also excited in a not nervous way to share how I’ve come about this decision!
Approximately 2 weeks ago I changed my prayer from “Lord PLEASE open doors for me!” to “Lord, this is exhausting so please just keep my heart open.” That was a good idea! Not dramatizing when I say that the very next morning I woke up with a blossoming plan and passion inside of me. The idea of doing makeup as a profession has always been a back burner but intriguing idea to me. I’ve always been interested in it and passionate about it, but I couldn’t find a way to make it a ministry, be able to work with children, and live outside of a major city. (I love the city, but I don’t particularly care to live there… long term atleast.) I was blessed to stumble across a way to do all three!
Around this same time I was helping a friend out at his show before opening night. Since I have no idea about programing lights, I kept myself busy by cleaning and organizing the makeup room and eventually teaching some basic stage makeup techniques to the makeup volunteers. And then my lightbulb came on! I thought to myself, “Hey self! You could totally do this for a job!” & I can! I intend to use my training to contract out to schools and childrens theater programs to do and teach them stage makeup! It allows me to work independently wherever I want, and I can contract jobs in the city if I so choose to and I get to work around kids all the time! That’s two of the three right there.
Doors started opening right away when this started rising up inside of me. I was talking with my friend Kat about the possibility and before I could even mention ministry she brought up a ministry that makes over single moms for job interviews to give them confidence and help them look their best. That is me in ministry form, so I’m starting to bubble over with possibility at this point. 3 out of 3 and all of a sudden being 100k in debt to go to Baylor is seeming less appealing.
However, amidst all of my excitement about these possibilities stood a bit of confusion. I couldn’t help but wonder why I’ve been so passionate about music and so set in it if it’s not my God given path. How could I want something so badly if it’s not meant to be? How am I supposed to choose one or the other? This was totally killing my joy, so naturally God sent me to the Barlows for a full week.
The Barlows are blessed to know a wonderful woman named Shlyce Jimenez who I love, and who just so happened to be in town with her crew and staying with the Barlows as well. She was praying over me while I was there, with no knowledge of any pending decisions I was struggling with, and was so right on with some great words from the Father for me! I was filled with encouragement and emptied of quite a few tears within minutes. God was showing me how I’ve been pushing myself to fit in a worldly box, and literally telling me it’s time to throw out the pro and con lists and see what He’s really speaking into my heart. I’ve always been a free spirt you see, so this whole concept explains my total stress. Forcing myself into a 10 year plan because I “have to have a plan” is the opposite of who I’ve always been. God was encouraging me to dream bigger than I have been and to follow what I want to be at my purest. To not be so conventional because I am not a conventional person to begin with.
I was also given words confirming that my calling is releasing the destiny in children and using music to help speak into their spirits! Music can still be a part of my plan with out school, it is still important to my calling in life. My want for music was not in vain! It’s just not going to be an average way to get there! I’m good with that :)
I’m going to work with poverty! I’m going to work with music! With children! Learn about makeup and helping women! Color me one excited 19 year old right here. The Lord has a beautiful plan in store for me. I am in a season of preparation, and I’m pretty curious about what my next few years are going to look like.
Right now my struggle lies in escaping this worldly planning that I’ve let into my head. I know that God has far better plans for my life, but there’s still a teeny part of me that wants the “college experience.” There’s also a big part that hates waking up early, taking any math classes at all, and wasting time. But it only takes a crack to start a shatter, so I want to seal that baby right up! It would also be nice to have a place to live/go to school. But I feel confident in God’s provision!
God never leaves you without a seed, sometimes it’s just hidden.
This has been longer than long, but it’s all just too exciting to leave anything out!
Hoping for wonderful weeks for you all!
Approximately 2 weeks ago I changed my prayer from “Lord PLEASE open doors for me!” to “Lord, this is exhausting so please just keep my heart open.” That was a good idea! Not dramatizing when I say that the very next morning I woke up with a blossoming plan and passion inside of me. The idea of doing makeup as a profession has always been a back burner but intriguing idea to me. I’ve always been interested in it and passionate about it, but I couldn’t find a way to make it a ministry, be able to work with children, and live outside of a major city. (I love the city, but I don’t particularly care to live there… long term atleast.) I was blessed to stumble across a way to do all three!
Around this same time I was helping a friend out at his show before opening night. Since I have no idea about programing lights, I kept myself busy by cleaning and organizing the makeup room and eventually teaching some basic stage makeup techniques to the makeup volunteers. And then my lightbulb came on! I thought to myself, “Hey self! You could totally do this for a job!” & I can! I intend to use my training to contract out to schools and childrens theater programs to do and teach them stage makeup! It allows me to work independently wherever I want, and I can contract jobs in the city if I so choose to and I get to work around kids all the time! That’s two of the three right there.
Doors started opening right away when this started rising up inside of me. I was talking with my friend Kat about the possibility and before I could even mention ministry she brought up a ministry that makes over single moms for job interviews to give them confidence and help them look their best. That is me in ministry form, so I’m starting to bubble over with possibility at this point. 3 out of 3 and all of a sudden being 100k in debt to go to Baylor is seeming less appealing.
However, amidst all of my excitement about these possibilities stood a bit of confusion. I couldn’t help but wonder why I’ve been so passionate about music and so set in it if it’s not my God given path. How could I want something so badly if it’s not meant to be? How am I supposed to choose one or the other? This was totally killing my joy, so naturally God sent me to the Barlows for a full week.
The Barlows are blessed to know a wonderful woman named Shlyce Jimenez who I love, and who just so happened to be in town with her crew and staying with the Barlows as well. She was praying over me while I was there, with no knowledge of any pending decisions I was struggling with, and was so right on with some great words from the Father for me! I was filled with encouragement and emptied of quite a few tears within minutes. God was showing me how I’ve been pushing myself to fit in a worldly box, and literally telling me it’s time to throw out the pro and con lists and see what He’s really speaking into my heart. I’ve always been a free spirt you see, so this whole concept explains my total stress. Forcing myself into a 10 year plan because I “have to have a plan” is the opposite of who I’ve always been. God was encouraging me to dream bigger than I have been and to follow what I want to be at my purest. To not be so conventional because I am not a conventional person to begin with.
I was also given words confirming that my calling is releasing the destiny in children and using music to help speak into their spirits! Music can still be a part of my plan with out school, it is still important to my calling in life. My want for music was not in vain! It’s just not going to be an average way to get there! I’m good with that :)
I’m going to work with poverty! I’m going to work with music! With children! Learn about makeup and helping women! Color me one excited 19 year old right here. The Lord has a beautiful plan in store for me. I am in a season of preparation, and I’m pretty curious about what my next few years are going to look like.
Right now my struggle lies in escaping this worldly planning that I’ve let into my head. I know that God has far better plans for my life, but there’s still a teeny part of me that wants the “college experience.” There’s also a big part that hates waking up early, taking any math classes at all, and wasting time. But it only takes a crack to start a shatter, so I want to seal that baby right up! It would also be nice to have a place to live/go to school. But I feel confident in God’s provision!
God never leaves you without a seed, sometimes it’s just hidden.
This has been longer than long, but it’s all just too exciting to leave anything out!
Hoping for wonderful weeks for you all!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Day camp devotionals are not just for kids any more!
I had an epiphany at day camp today. A spiritual one.
I have been struggling recently with what I should be doing this fall. College wise atleast. My options are to go the community route and then try again next year, go massively into debt and go this year, or drop out all together. I’ve been really struggling with the decision and seeking counsel on it a bit. It’s been brought up that where you go to college is not the end of the world, but it is a big decision for me that changes the next year of my life drastically & I’ve been really struggling with the decision and seeking counsel on it a bit.
It was David and Goliath day today for devotionals, all about having faith in God even when the odds are against you. I’ve always had a lot of faith that God will provide what I need no matter what, but the flaw in my faith is reflected in the devotional verse;
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you WHEREVER YOU GO.” (Joshua 1:9)
I live continuously afraid that I am going to make the wrong decision, pick the wrong path, or close the wrong door. As a result, it’s common for me to wait so long that I get shut out. I’m so concerned that I am not doing God’s will, that I actually lose out on some of God’s opportunities for me. I’ve been living in the mindset that YES, God will be with me, but only as long as I always make the right choices. What a scary and doubt filled way to live.
I was talking with a friend last night about this situation and he mentioned that having faith isn’t just believing that God will provide for me, but also believing that He will pick me up when I make the wrong choices. The verse in Joshua says that God will go with me WHEREVER I go, not that He will go with me as long as I make the correct choices all the time. God won’t abandon me if I decide to go to Baylor over MCC, and he won’t abandon me for choosing MCC over Baylor either. He will be there even when it gets hard and I doubt my decision, He will be there if my decision involves me moving across the country, He will even be there if I’m frustrated with having to make responsible choices. How exciting is that? This verse tells me that it’s okay to take a risk, because God is there for me no matter how this whole deal turns out.
I have to decide by tomorrow, and I still don’t know what I’m doing, but I feel so much less anxiety about my decision than I did yesterday. While it’s scary to know I’m taking such a big risk with either decision it’s a relief to know that God always has my back!
I have been struggling recently with what I should be doing this fall. College wise atleast. My options are to go the community route and then try again next year, go massively into debt and go this year, or drop out all together. I’ve been really struggling with the decision and seeking counsel on it a bit. It’s been brought up that where you go to college is not the end of the world, but it is a big decision for me that changes the next year of my life drastically & I’ve been really struggling with the decision and seeking counsel on it a bit.
It was David and Goliath day today for devotionals, all about having faith in God even when the odds are against you. I’ve always had a lot of faith that God will provide what I need no matter what, but the flaw in my faith is reflected in the devotional verse;
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you WHEREVER YOU GO.” (Joshua 1:9)
I live continuously afraid that I am going to make the wrong decision, pick the wrong path, or close the wrong door. As a result, it’s common for me to wait so long that I get shut out. I’m so concerned that I am not doing God’s will, that I actually lose out on some of God’s opportunities for me. I’ve been living in the mindset that YES, God will be with me, but only as long as I always make the right choices. What a scary and doubt filled way to live.
I was talking with a friend last night about this situation and he mentioned that having faith isn’t just believing that God will provide for me, but also believing that He will pick me up when I make the wrong choices. The verse in Joshua says that God will go with me WHEREVER I go, not that He will go with me as long as I make the correct choices all the time. God won’t abandon me if I decide to go to Baylor over MCC, and he won’t abandon me for choosing MCC over Baylor either. He will be there even when it gets hard and I doubt my decision, He will be there if my decision involves me moving across the country, He will even be there if I’m frustrated with having to make responsible choices. How exciting is that? This verse tells me that it’s okay to take a risk, because God is there for me no matter how this whole deal turns out.
I have to decide by tomorrow, and I still don’t know what I’m doing, but I feel so much less anxiety about my decision than I did yesterday. While it’s scary to know I’m taking such a big risk with either decision it’s a relief to know that God always has my back!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Crazy Love
“The love for equals is a human thing—of friend for friend, brother for brother. It is to love wht is loving and lovely. The world smiles. The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing—the love for those who suffer, for those ho are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world. The love for the mor fortunate is a rare thing—to love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is always bewildered by its saints. And then there is love for the enemy—love for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens, and inflicts pain. The tortured’s love for the torturer. This is God’s love. It conquers the world.”
— The Magnificent Defeat , Frederick Buechner
— The Magnificent Defeat , Frederick Buechner
Sunday, May 15, 2011
If God can love me, why don't I?
I was noodlin' this concept over tonight while reading my Bible :)
I think I often confuse self deprication for humility.
As a Christian I feel like I am one of many on a quest towards humble servanthood and submission to the Lord. As we're called to do.
As a human I attempt this by pretending that I am less than I am, and undervaluing myself. The less great I am, the easier it is for God to take over my life right?
Nope.
It's time to stop pretending like I'm not made in God's image, endowed in splendor and created to do awesome things.
God made me great, made me to BE great.
As far as I can tell, I'm not doing myself or the kingdom any favors by acting otherwise!
At what point did it go out of style to embrace what we are great at? To pretend like it's not true when someone recognizes it in you?
I want to become a humble servant by recognizing my gifts and potential for greatness and then USING THEM for the GLORY of God, to further HIS kingdom. Not for my own advances. Not to become prideful. To not boast in my gifts, but in the God who gave them to me!
It's time to quit with the ordinary business. Time to stop settling. Time to start rejoicing in what the Lord has made, for He has made each one of us!
We are not nothing, we became less so He could become greater, but we are WHOLE again! Better than before.
I think I often confuse self deprication for humility.
As a Christian I feel like I am one of many on a quest towards humble servanthood and submission to the Lord. As we're called to do.
As a human I attempt this by pretending that I am less than I am, and undervaluing myself. The less great I am, the easier it is for God to take over my life right?
Nope.
It's time to stop pretending like I'm not made in God's image, endowed in splendor and created to do awesome things.
God made me great, made me to BE great.
As far as I can tell, I'm not doing myself or the kingdom any favors by acting otherwise!
At what point did it go out of style to embrace what we are great at? To pretend like it's not true when someone recognizes it in you?
I want to become a humble servant by recognizing my gifts and potential for greatness and then USING THEM for the GLORY of God, to further HIS kingdom. Not for my own advances. Not to become prideful. To not boast in my gifts, but in the God who gave them to me!
It's time to quit with the ordinary business. Time to stop settling. Time to start rejoicing in what the Lord has made, for He has made each one of us!
We are not nothing, we became less so He could become greater, but we are WHOLE again! Better than before.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
My Hope
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
-Erma Bombeck
-Erma Bombeck
Saturday, May 7, 2011
My body is a wonderland?
This is not the sort of thing I would blog about, but it's an important message.
Real talk.
I've been unusually convicted lately by the idea of caring for my body.
Recently I can't help but notice how the food that I eat and lack of exercise that I do will affect me and has already started affected me.
At this point in my life it's not that I want to be skinnier, or prettier.
I am honestly not caring for my body as well as I could, and I believe it is affecting my relationship with God and my abilities as a christian.
My soul belongs to the Lord and He has given me this one body to care for and love as a tool to spread His love and do His work.
I am a living breathing creation of the Lord because of this body He has given me with the command to go and do His work.
By not caring for the body I've been blessed with, I don't perform as well as I could.
I don't treat it well, I don't respect it.
If I don't respect this great gift I've been given, how will I respect and fully utilize my other gifts?
I know I want to give myself to God in mind and spirit, but do I want to give my body back to Him in it's current broken condition? Nope.
It's time to start being honest about what I'm doing.
I'm determined for positive steps to be taken.
I will take care of my self in the name of Jesus, in order to fully live out my
purpose on earth!
"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
1 Corinithians 6:19-20
"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."
Psalm 139:13-14
Real talk.
I've been unusually convicted lately by the idea of caring for my body.
Recently I can't help but notice how the food that I eat and lack of exercise that I do will affect me and has already started affected me.
At this point in my life it's not that I want to be skinnier, or prettier.
I am honestly not caring for my body as well as I could, and I believe it is affecting my relationship with God and my abilities as a christian.
My soul belongs to the Lord and He has given me this one body to care for and love as a tool to spread His love and do His work.
I am a living breathing creation of the Lord because of this body He has given me with the command to go and do His work.
By not caring for the body I've been blessed with, I don't perform as well as I could.
I don't treat it well, I don't respect it.
If I don't respect this great gift I've been given, how will I respect and fully utilize my other gifts?
I know I want to give myself to God in mind and spirit, but do I want to give my body back to Him in it's current broken condition? Nope.
It's time to start being honest about what I'm doing.
I'm determined for positive steps to be taken.
I will take care of my self in the name of Jesus, in order to fully live out my
purpose on earth!
"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
1 Corinithians 6:19-20
"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."
Psalm 139:13-14
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