The future.

Well friends, life is good and God is providing many open doors for me right now. I have had quite the couple of weeks! I’m a tad fuzzy on where I left off on my journey in my last post, but I sure have a lot of updates to give. I am excited in a nervous way to share that my next step will be an Esthetics program somewhere in big and toasty Texas! Yes, I still don’t know where. Or where I’ll be living for that matter, but it would be out of my character to have everything figured out ;) I am also excited in a not nervous way to share how I’ve come about this decision!

Approximately 2 weeks ago I changed my prayer from “Lord PLEASE open doors for me!” to “Lord, this is exhausting so please just keep my heart open.” That was a good idea! Not dramatizing when I say that the very next morning I woke up with a blossoming plan and passion inside of me. The idea of doing makeup as a profession has always been a back burner but intriguing idea to me. I’ve always been interested in it and passionate about it, but I couldn’t find a way to make it a ministry, be able to work with children, and live outside of a major city. (I love the city, but I don’t particularly care to live there… long term atleast.) I was blessed to stumble across a way to do all three!

Around this same time I was helping a friend out at his show before opening night. Since I have no idea about programing lights, I kept myself busy by cleaning and organizing the makeup room and eventually teaching some basic stage makeup techniques to the makeup volunteers. And then my lightbulb came on! I thought to myself, “Hey self! You could totally do this for a job!” & I can! I intend to use my training to contract out to schools and childrens theater programs to do and teach them stage makeup! It allows me to work independently wherever I want, and I can contract jobs in the city if I so choose to and I get to work around kids all the time! That’s two of the three right there.

Doors started opening right away when this started rising up inside of me. I was talking with my friend Kat about the possibility and before I could even mention ministry she brought up a ministry that makes over single moms for job interviews to give them confidence and help them look their best. That is me in ministry form, so I’m starting to bubble over with possibility at this point. 3 out of 3 and all of a sudden being 100k in debt to go to Baylor is seeming less appealing.

However, amidst all of my excitement about these possibilities stood a bit of confusion. I couldn’t help but wonder why I’ve been so passionate about music and so set in it if it’s not my God given path. How could I want something so badly if it’s not meant to be? How am I supposed to choose one or the other? This was totally killing my joy, so naturally God sent me to the Barlows for a full week.

The Barlows are blessed to know a wonderful woman named Shlyce Jimenez who I love, and who just so happened to be in town with her crew and staying with the Barlows as well. She was praying over me while I was there, with no knowledge of any pending decisions I was struggling with, and was so right on with some great words from the Father for me! I was filled with encouragement and emptied of quite a few tears within minutes. God was showing me how I’ve been pushing myself to fit in a worldly box, and literally telling me it’s time to throw out the pro and con lists and see what He’s really speaking into my heart. I’ve always been a free spirt you see, so this whole concept explains my total stress. Forcing myself into a 10 year plan because I “have to have a plan” is the opposite of who I’ve always been. God was encouraging me to dream bigger than I have been and to follow what I want to be at my purest. To not be so conventional because I am not a conventional person to begin with.

I was also given words confirming that my calling is releasing the destiny in children and using music to help speak into their spirits! Music can still be a part of my plan with out school, it is still important to my calling in life. My want for music was not in vain! It’s just not going to be an average way to get there! I’m good with that :)

I’m going to work with poverty! I’m going to work with music! With children! Learn about makeup and helping women! Color me one excited 19 year old right here. The Lord has a beautiful plan in store for me. I am in a season of preparation, and I’m pretty curious about what my next few years are going to look like.

Right now my struggle lies in escaping this worldly planning that I’ve let into my head. I know that God has far better plans for my life, but there’s still a teeny part of me that wants the “college experience.” There’s also a big part that hates waking up early, taking any math classes at all, and wasting time. But it only takes a crack to start a shatter, so I want to seal that baby right up! It would also be nice to have a place to live/go to school. But I feel confident in God’s provision!

God never leaves you without a seed, sometimes it’s just hidden.

This has been longer than long, but it’s all just too exciting to leave anything out!

Hoping for wonderful weeks for you all!