Things change so fast.

On bestfriends:
"I think it's when you can be totally transparant and your friend wont ignore or turn on you no matter what mood your in- fun or boring."
"That's how I feel about it and how I'd like to be able to act. I think that's the kind of friend Jesus would be."
-Mike Egler

Mike Egler is headed in a beautiful direction I think. He just is. It's that simple. He is intensely himself in a nonrebellious way that makes him shine and those around him feel his heart. He strives to be like Jesus without expecting any recognition. I think that's a very powerful thing.
He's a cool person.

My eyeliner is flaking off... But I don't really mind. I went to Cabaret tonight for GreenRoom, and it was really good. So that's that update. Lately... I've been really against going home. I don't really know why. Actually I do. My house isn't a positive place to be right now. Tonight I drove around for a while listening to music instead of going home just because I wasn't prepared to deal with it yet. It's not that it's so bad... It's just not the same any more.
I'm hoping this will be a really great week for me though!
Tomorrow: Church. Rachael?
Monday: day camp.
Tuesday: day camp. Hang out with Brianna, Katie, and Kaitlyn.
Wednesday: day camp. Rehersal.
Thursday: day camp. Hang out with Lauren Stengel!
Friday: day camp. Classic Crime concert downtown?
I know that will probably change alot... but the way it stands I really have high hopes for it.


I love the song Close Your Eyes by Dave Barnes.

Smooooth

Anyways, the weather is nice now.

This morning there was a tornado warning, so I had to go sleep downstairs.
as a result, I somehow slept until noon.
Which is okay I guess because I don't really have anything else to do, but I can't help feeling like a slept a big part of my day away. I don't care for that.
I have rehersal tonight!
I hope it keeps being fun, because it's starting to feel like a family, and I love that.
I think it would be really cool to have something like that this summer.
I helped out at water day for middle school camp on Wednesday, which was very fun.
for most of the time it was just me, Kat, and Eric. And then Rachael came which was nice.
And then mrs. kennedy and the kids came by to help with mrs. Lang. Mrs. Lang! She's a very cool lady.
I loved filling up water balloons until my fingers turned red and getting soaked and soapy and muddy and cut up on the slip 'n slide.
I love water day.
It really made me wish I was going to camp, but I understand that that's not what's meant for me this year. Hopefully I can go help out with water day again for hs camp.
Then the week after I'm working day camp. YEAH!
I have high hopes for this summer.

900 songs.

Welp. We're moving!
Our house is being foreclosed on.
I'm okay with it, I've thought everything out with myself.
But I had to tell SOMEONE.
I told Kat.
But I can't just tell everyone conversationally, you know? "Hey I'm really hungry for mashed potatoes, and by the way my family's losing our house."
So I'll just let it go for now.

I love music.

Oh Alixx

And we are led to those who help us most to grow, if we let them, and we help them in return.

Who's in?

[editted on 1/20/10]
I've been thinking about relationships alot lately.
On my left hand I really want a boy.
But I know on my right hand (the hand of reason?) I know that I need to learn self control before I go into a relationship. Because I know deep down.... that once I start, I'll have a hard time stopping.(boundaries have never been my strong suit) Ultimately I know God will put the people into my life that he wants to be there, when he wants them there, however I am starting to get impatient. Which is weird kind of. Because I am super single girl usually. I love independence and freedom of all kinds to do what I want when I want to... like I said before, I love to have a good time. But lately? Not so much.
I would like to be protected, and have a person for my own. I'll wait. And I'll try and learn while waiting. But sooner is better than later. You know?

Yeah I guess those are the two biggest things on my mind right now.
I'm trying to make more new friends!
I downloaded 19+ hours of new music yesterday. I think that's really cool.

God never ends anything on a negative; God always ends on a positive.

So I didn't get in.
Which really hurts at the moment.
I'm an alternate, which is bittersweet because it means I'm good. But not good enough.
Oh well. I should get the frick over it.
I know that there must be bigger and better plans for my summer.
Or so I keep hearing.
But for reals, I'm grateful for being called back and cast as alternate, I'm just frustrated.
I wonder what I will do this summer...
*Camp?
*Concerts? warped... ignite chicago... this providence.... jason mraz... pitchfork... taste...
*Double Decker?
*Into the woods?
*Memphis?
*Six flags?
*Shows?
*ERICA?.... She's intown... will I ever get to see her?

I sure hope I have a fun time... I just don't know what to do.
I've always hated being left out, I handled it so badly. When I was younger I would conform, and now I just go into my shell and get upset. I definitely don't want either of those to happen.
Only time will tell, my fine freckled friend.
OH, when I was at the movies today with Matt the guy working the register had the nicest freckles. I think they're cute on everyone but me.
UP was so so good. It was sad but so great, pixar has a handle on my soul.